Archive for October, 2006

Missing Nail Clippers

Up until a few minutes ago I was confident that I was the victim of, perhaps, the greatest conspiracy of all time. It all started with myself, two cats, and a pair of nail clippers.

In this day and age, times are tough and nail clippers are hard to come by. Thus, my cats and I opted to share the one pair we have until another pair can be obtained. With that said and kitty-clipping day right around the corner, I came home to find the nail clippers gone. Yes, gone. Completely missing. Nowhere in sight.

I assembled a search team immediately. Comprised of me, myself, and I, the team scoured the vicinity for nearly 10 minutes with no luck of finding the missing clippers. I was left to face the fact that I may never see my precious clippers again, but I wasn’t about to give up yet.

I decided to consult the cats to see if they knew anything about the disappearance. It was a desperate attempt, but I was in a desperate position. I suspected their alibi for hiding the clippers was to avoid getting their claws trimmed. However, after minutes of intense interrogation, I came to the conclusion that they were not responsible for this unforgivable act. My investigation was at an impasse.

I was almost about to call the search team back when I noticed a metallic object glistening in my nightstand drawer. Could it be? It was.

The clippers were exactly where I had left them. Alas, I realized that I was not a victim of some radical conspiracy, rather, a victim of my own senility.

Things You Wish You Could Do Again

Some things you wish you could do all over again:

The Younger Years

  • Have a pillow fight
  • Play freeze tag
  • Climb a tree
  • Build a snow fort
  • Sit in an elementary school classroom
  • Play hide and seek
  • Attend recess
  • Learn to read
  • Feel like life is all about fun
  • Walk to lunch in a line
  • Swing with your friends
  • Dance to music your parents like (and think it’s cool) :)
  • Get excited about Santa
  • Visit the nurse’s office
  • Sing in Christmas concerts in front of your family
  • Get sent to the principal’s office
  • Listen for school closings on snowy mornings
  • Ride the bus
  • Field day

And Even a Little Older

  • Go to your homecoming dance
  • Skip last period
  • Show your report card to Mom
  • Hide your report card from Mom :o
  • Have a crush on someone
  • Pass notes
  • Sit in detention

At the time you never think twice about the fun you’re having and the people you’re having it with. Looking back though…that’s a different story. But the truth is, your youth never fades away and you can celebrate it eternally just by remembering it – and who knows? Maybe one day you’ll find yourself having a pillow fight “just for fun”.

Defeated

By Cory S.N. LaViska

October 15, 2006

The odds that rage against me
And the pain that they instill
Will not discourage all my dreams
Or terrify my will

This war declared upon me
Will surcease without a doubt
But not before the coming of
The first and final bout

I have not trained a single day
My fortitude is lacking
Yet somehow I must be prepared
For the enemy attacking

And when it does, I’ll find myself
Alone against its forces
Fighting ’til death to combat
All the evil it coerces

The coming of this fateful day
On which battle will be heated
Will only go to show the world
I will not be defeated