In the beginning of the month, my snack drawer inspired me to write a Haiku about a lonely ramen. Now, my snack drawer is empty and, once again, I have been inspired:
An empty drawer
No more snacks for me to eat
Wish I had ramen
One day, my greatness will be recognized.
By Cory S.N. LaViska
October 24, 2007
I may not be the perfect guy
But you’re the perfect girl
You may believe I’ve lost my mind
But I’ll give you the world
I never was that good with gifts
There’s some things that I lack
But everyday I think of you
It helps me stay on track
The times that I think giving up
Is something I should do
Are saved by just one single thought
Of my arms embracing you
Your soft blue eyes look into mine
My heart, it skips a beat
I love your hair, I love your smile
You make my life complete
Every day that passes by
That you cannot be here
I hope you know in your heart
That I am always near
No matter what the future brings
You’ll always be the one
Who showed me the importance
Of being me and having fun
And if I fail to make you happy
Please know that I tried
Believe me when I tell you
I’ve never cheated, never lied
The things I wish for may not be
Achievable at all
I can hope and I can dream
But it’s you that makes the call
I’ve screwed some things up in my life
I’m not the perfect guy
But believe me when I tell you
That I’ll love you ’til I die
I will now show you how to generate large amounts of static electricity with common household items and minimal effort. I haven’t figured out any practical use for this yet, but it’s fun…kind of.
Requirements
Procedure
Earn cat’s trust by laying next to him on the floor. Pet gently until cat is semi-conscious and nearing slumber. Now, using one hand on the cat’s lower back, quickly begin spinning in a fast, clockwise motion.
Note: cat may get pissed off. For best results, use one that is declawed and/or defanged.
Now, if you do it right, after a couple of spins you will begin generating static electricity. In fact, if the cat you used is a good conductor, you will both be in for a bit of a shock
. I love science.
Disclaimer: no long term testing has been done to determine the effects of this method on the longevity of the cat. Do not attempt this if your cat has a history of heart problems, critical medical conditions, or is pregnant. Not responsible for electric shock resulting from this procedure.
Now go. Have fun :)
My desk at work has a snack drawer. Oftentimes I sit there with it open, gazing at the helpless snacks just waiting to be consumed. And then I think, I should write a haiku about them. And so it was. A colorful haiku about those oh, so tasty ramen noodles:
one lonely ramen
sitting inside the drawer
eat me you bastard
So now you know. Yes. I do have a creative side.
